Lyrical Logic

Yes, I’m a Swiftie.
Yes, I did stay up until midnight for the new album.
Yes, this poem was written while listening to this album and my feelings and thoughts as I sat down for the meeting of The Tortured Poets Department. If that bothers you, keep scrolling. I have been waiting for this day since the Grammys, and it is finally here. You will not steal this experience from me.

I will do a short poem for each song of the DOUBLE ALBUM. Be prepared for this long post. Welcome, to a meeting of the Tortured Poets Department, and don’t forget, all is fair in love and poetry.

Fortnight ft. Post Malone
They say you can never love another until you learn to love yourself.
Maybe they are right. 
But, loving you ruined my life. 
You made me feel safe and secure,
Then you turned on me,
Like all of it meant nothing.
You tried to send me far away, 
So you wouldn't have to deal with me,
But no one ever showed up to take me. 
So here I am,
Still here, 
Still wondering if you will ever miss me,
Wondering if you ever loved me. 

The Tortured Poets Department
There were many things I never said.
I never said them because 
What was the point? 
It would only lead to an argument. 
Instead, I would write them
In the journal I kept them next to the bed.
That night, however, 
I left it at your house. 
As I left and went on my way
To face the worst year of my life,
I didn't think to grab it.
It was only the next day that I remembered.
I needed that journal
So I could start to love me.

Now, who will put up with you? 
It certainly won't be me.
You are difficult
Hard to read
And most importantly
Incredibly selfish. 
To whomever decides to try and decode you next,
Let me save them the trouble: 
It can't be done. 

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
If you had seen me 7 years ago
You wouldn't think I am the same person.
Mostly because I'm not,
But what I was before he got ahold of me
Is the complete opposite of who I am today.
It seemed too perfect.
It felt too planned.
I should have known
He would eventually leave me,
It really was just a matter of time.
He showed me the love I never imagined.
He held my heart in his hands,
Shattered it,
And left all the broken parts for me to pick up.
But I know that as soon as I fix myself
He will realize how much he misses me. 

Down Bad
For a long time
I thought the only option
In not living with you
Was death.
Wondering if it was worth getting up
I can't say I ever cemented a yes.
But until I could come up with a solid no
I have to keep getting up. 
Because staying down isn't an option,
At least not today. 

So Long, London
My entire life changed the day I met you.
I tried to keep our happiness together
Long after they called time of death.
I kept trying because I had
Given you the best of me.
The best of me I wanted my forever to have.
And now I can never get it back. 

But Daddy I Love Him
No, you can't harm him.
No, you can't wish him harm.
No, I want him to be kept safe.
I know you just want to protect me,
But what you don't understand
is that even though he broke my heart
I still love him with all I am.
And while I'd rather die
Than continue living in that life,
He is to remain unharmed.
 Because no matter what happens in this world
I will always love him.

Fresh Out The Slammer 
He told me I was what his dreams were made of.
How can that be true? 
Unless his dreams are full of trauma
I should have known it wasn't true.

Florida!!! (ft. Florence + The Machine)
The house we bought
I always felt like a guest.
It never felt like home for me.
I can't say that anywhere ever has,
Maybe I'm just meant to be that nomad.
You know, 
The one who just travels through life,
Never stopping long enough to call it home.

Guilty As Sin?
The funny thing is
That the whole time we were together
He never touched my upper thigh
Let alone try to call it his.

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? 
You tell me you didn't want to hurt me,
But how can I believe you? 
You wouldn't last a day in the hell in which you dropped me.
You don't believe in pain relief.
Or should I say,
You don't believe in the process
That brings the relief. 
You called me crazy
After you trained me.
So why oh why 
Are you afraid of what I have to say?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) 
I think I can fix him,
No really I can.
I would never hurt him like they have.
No need to help,
I've got this.
I tried to show him what love was,
I tried to make him see.
In the end,
I couldn't help him.
Because for all the skill I have,
He needs someone better than me.
To make sure he can be loved
The way he needs to be.

loml
 You told me so many lies
Telling me I was your one and only.
Did you ever believe it?
Because while I've gained and lost many people over my life
You really are going to forever hold the title of
Loss of My Life.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
You should have known that even through this pain
I could still be productive in my life.
After all,
How many times did I do while you were there? 
Really, my talent has been called art.
To act like everything is okay,
All of the time.
I laugh, daring people to challenge me.
After all,
I'm miserable most of the time.
No one would know. 
Because for so long 
I've had to live life
With a broken heart.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
I don't miss what we had
I don't miss you
I don't even miss the idea of us.
All I want is to know
If you planned to ruin my college career
When you told me you wanted out.
I would have died for you,
But you didn't even try.
You did what you did,
And I'll never forgive you.
Because you took my biggest fears
And used them to try and break me.
This is a message for you: 
You acted like you cared,
You acted like you loved,
Especially in front of your friends.
But secretly,
Secretly you did everything you could to destroy me.
And it failed.

The Alchemy
It was going to be the greatest love.
For a time, it was.
But then something happened,
And that magic was just gone.
Then he walked in,
Telling me his heart was still waiting on me.
Handing me the crown
You took away from me.

Clara Bow
In all my life
I never would have thought
That life would lead me here. 
Here is where I'm told
I look like someone who has their shit together.
I might die if it becomes true.
I think I look like that overwhelmed girl
Chugging coffee, 
Wearing sweats with a messy bun,
And racing from place to place, 
Just trying to remember who she is.
Because I don't think I look like
I've got my shit together.

Black Dog
I don't understand
How you could just live your life
Like nothing ever happened. 
I'm struggling, 
Unable to open up
The way I did to you. 
Your acting skills are great
You played the man you convinced me I needed. 

imgonnagetyouback
I have yet to decide
If I will smash your life
Or let you live in peace.
I deserve to smash your life,
To make you feel the way I do.
But the simple fact is that I still love you.
You may not love me,
But I love you.
And if it ever came down to it,
I don't know if I would take you back.

The Albatross
I tried to warn you
I tried to tell you 
They wanted to come for you.
I held them off,
I sent them home,
But you never even said thank you.
So now,
Instead of protecting you,
I think I'm here
To destroy you. 

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
Breaking my heart is easy.
All you have to do
Is tell me three words:
I love you.

How Did It End?
Tell me how it felt
To say the words you said.
To call time of death
For a relationship you once said
Would make it until the end. 

So High School
Every time I see you
I feel like that very first time.
The first time I saw you in that light.
I tried so hard to hide it from those around us.
I don't know if I hid it well,
But I tried. 
Because I didn't need them to know
I felt like I was back in high school. 
Crushing on the guy
I knew I couldn't have.

I Hate It Here
The noise is terrifying outside.
I want nothing to do with it.
All I want to do is find comfort inside.
Whether it be a pillow fort,
Or an imaginary world.
I'm the only one who can get there.
I'm going to head out,
Because I hate it here.

thanK you aIMee
No matter how much you tried
How hard you pushed me down
In the end
You helped me heal.
You told everyone that I had fallen
That I was dying
But what you didn't know
Is that with every person you told
I was rebuilding my life.
I'll never forget what you said to me,
You added new scars to my already scarred body.
But I have to say thank you,
Because without you,
I wouldn't be who I am now.
So thank you.

I Look In People's Windows 
Not know kills me,
So I watch you through your friends.
Are you happy?
Are you sad? 
I can tell just by glancing at you,
As you spend time with your friends.

The Prophecy
Life dealt a shitty hand
And so far I've played it like a fool.
Then you placed the poison in my blood
With that alluring smile.
Even though you've tried to kill me,
I still only dream of you
In my prophecy. 

Cassandra
I only tried to speak up
Tell the truth
Warn the others.
But they had other plans.
Other desires for what was meant for me.
They used the line
"What Jesus would do,"
When silencing me.
So instead of speaking
I patched the cracks
And told my story
On the walls.

Peter
You always had it easy.
You always could just keep going.
It's like we live in different worlds,
But we experience the same events. 
After watching you thrive for so long,
I had to turn off the lights.
The woman you see today,
Has nothing burning inside.

The Bolter
I was six the first time it happened.
I thought it was normal.
How was I to know better?
It wasn't until I was a teenager,
Almost in college,
That I realized it wasn't.
So as soon as I could,
I ran.
I ran as far as I could,
As fast as I could.

Robin
Look at you go.
You're standing.
You're making it through the day.
What more can you ask for?
He made you look insane.
But slowly with each passing day,
You are showing the world,
When it comes to how you live your life,
He doesn't get a say.

The Manuscript
Her life's work.
It terrifies anyone who reads.
They call it beautiful,
They call it raw,
They call it insane.
How could anyone have survived this?
How could anyone survive and then create this art?
No one had ever seen anything like it.
It was then that she wondered,
What if it wasn't for nothing? 
What if it did happen for a reason? 
If only for that reason to be, 
To share her beauty with the world.

I hereby adjourn this meeting. Go and share your thoughts and art with the world ahead.