Lyrical Logic

Walking around that whole last year of our marriage
Wondering when you would finally say what I knew you were thinking. 
You stepped out of our marriage long before I did
And yet
Even when I knew you were gone
I still stayed. 

Then it happened
You dropped my heart and smiled as it hit the floor 
It was like you planned the whole thing
And all I could do was silently scream 

I didn’t fight you because there was no point
You promised me forever
But now you didn’t want it anymore
Who was I to force you to be unhappy?
Because even when it meant my own pain
All I wanted was to see a smile on your face. 

Now, a year later, you’ve moved on
You are happy and thriving in life. 
Me on the other hand?
I still cry myself to sleep. 
I still feel the pain I felt that night.
The thought of seeing you
The thought of talking to you
It still sends me straight to my knees. 

So while you live your life
I’ll fight for mine. 
I will never be the same 
You broke me in all the right ways
To trust another man to love me and not break me
It’s out of the question
At least for today.