Lyrical Logic

My writing process may seem a little different to you, as I do most of it in my bed. I write it out in my journal and then type it up. Something about handwriting my work makes it feel more like me. Sometimes I like to smoke a little first, and then put my headphones in and see where the music takes me. Recently, it brought me to asking myself a question. What would I do if someone asked me a question they really didn’t want to know the answer to? So, in a nice little buzzed state of mind, listening to my liked songs on Spotify, I wrote this.

What do you do
When someone asks you a question
You know they don't want an honest answer to?
Do you lie?
Do you tell the truth? 
Or do you combine the two? 

What if your mom asks 
If you enjoyed your childhood? 
Do you lie, say it was great,
Trying not to let your voice crack? 
Do you say it was pretty good, but you struggled sometimes? 
Other people would say that, right? 
Or do you simply tell the truth,
That you had to heal from it? 

What if its your best friend 
Asking if you like her new boyfriend? 
Do you tell her he's perfect
Even though his hand was on your ass when you hugged?
Do you tell her he seems okay,
But she should take it slow? 
Or do you tell her to run like hell because
He's a walking red flag? 

What if its you
Asking why you keep going? 
Would we say we are happy,
After all we smiled today.
Would we say there are more good days then bad,
Even when the opposite is true? 
Or would we be honest with ourselves,
And admit we really don't want to? 

There are a lot of situations where I don’t tell the whole truth when answering a question. Mostly it’s when someone asks how I am, if I’m doing okay. If I don’t want them to worry I say I’m fine, never better. If my boss asks how long something will take, sometimes I lie and give myself more time. Sometimes it’s my cat, telling him I’ll feed him in a few minutes knowing I won’t get up for an hour.

No matter the circumstance, it seems like I generally share something just shy of the truth. Maybe it’s because being truthful has gotten me hurt a lot. Maybe it’s because I don’t really trust anyone else with the truth. Maybe I just have this inherent belief that no one would believe the truth even if I shared it. Whatever the reason, it’s not personal. I just struggle to trust anyone in the world, no matter how long I’ve known you or how much I love you, with not hurting me. Since it seems like everyone in my life has done just that.