Lyrical Logic

I go back and forth between hating my ex, and admitting that I still love him. It’s so hard because I know I should be pissed, and I should want nothing but the worst from him, but the opposite is true. I only want to see him happy and succeed in life. I want no harm to come to him. Hell, I’d still probably be his friend.

That’s not the reality of the situation, however. He made his choice, and I gave him what he wanted, as I always do. I didn’t fight him, I actually took some pretty harsh words when he told me. But it didn’t matter to me, because it would make him happy. And his happiness is the only thing that matters to me.

Yes, that last sentence is still true. It will probably continue to hold true for me until one of us dies. I know, I know. My friends have told me over and over again that it shouldn’t matter if he’s happy or not. But it does. Because when you love someone as deeply as I love him, you can’t just snap your fingers and let it all go.

Are you happy? 
I need to know. 
Because if you are, 
I'll be happy for you. 
You deserve a smile on your face. 
If you're not, 
I'll do what I always did.
I'll work with those around you
Until you get there. 
I'll do whatever it takes.
Because that's what you do when you care about someone. 
You will do anything 
To make them happy. 

I did whatever it took to make him happy. I still would. That doesn’t make me less of a person. That doesn’t mean I still have unreal expectations. That doesn’t even mean I want him back. It just means all I want is to see a smile on his face.