Lyrical Logic

My life seems to be constantly changing. Sometimes it is expected and it is good. But most of the time, it is sudden, chaotic, and it takes me a bit to see the good in it. My life has been in constant transition for the last year. It is absolutely insane to me that my life was flipped upside down 13 months ago. But it was.

I don’t have any good word to put to how I have felt. I tell my therapist I’ve probably just heavily disassociated. Which, is an honest answer. At some point, when my body is under so much stress, it just begins to shut down. For me, this looks very different than what you would expect. I work longer hours. I sleep less. I start new projects and I try and learn new things.

My entire life I’ve been constantly doing something. So when I took the last year just to focus on me, and getting better, I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, I spent a lot of time in bed. Watching Netflix. Listening to music. Rediscovering pieces of my past that I don’t necessarily want to repeat, but love to remember. And I think for the most part, it has been good. I had my moments where the depression heavily set in, but I worked through it. And now, after a year long break, I’m ready to pick back up where I was, and keep chasing my dreams.

It’s a little funny, I actually don’t have my bachelor’s degree. I was so close to finishing it when everything happened. And I couldn’t focus on school and trying to set myself for success at the same time while working. So I took a year off. Well. Come June I’ll be starting again. Why I chose to start in the summer is beyond me, but I did. And I’m so ready. I’ll graduate in May of 2026, and it will be just before my 29th birthday. So completing my BS before 30 will have happened.

I share that because a year ago I honestly was ready to walk away from it all together. Why go get it? I don’t need it for my 9-5, and no one is pressuring me to do it. But, I want it. I have earned it, and quite frankly, everyone has always told me that I can’t do it, and I want to prove them wrong. So, as I start to transition into a very chaotic time in my life of going back to school, working, moving, and finishing up my poetry collection, I want to apologize in advance if I can’t keep up with this. I am trying to get ahead, but I’m also human. And this takes a lot of time and energy.

So, for today’s piece, I am literally writing it, and scheduling it to publish. There will be no edits. There will be no reworks. This is straight from my brain to the keyboard and onto the screen. All about transitions.

Some are easy
Some are hard.
Some take time
Some are fast. 
Some we want
Some we don’t.
But in the midst of each one
We learn more about ourselves.
Reacting under pressure
Seeing who will really stick by us
Realizing what we really need.

Here’s to the next life transition. Here’s hoping it goes a little smoother than the last.