Lyrical Logic

I did something quite stupid the other night. I managed to somehow shut my fingers in my car door. Yep. The thing that you would think that only children do – I managed to do it. Now, here’s a tip, they can’t really do anything for a broken finger. And really, I wasn’t expecting them to even do an x-ray. But they did and stuck me in a little splint and sent me home. The finger isn’t broken, but as a just in case they told me to wear it when I felt it necessary.

Now, if you know anything about me, it’s that telling me I only have to do it if I think it’s necessary means I probably won’t be doing the thing you told me I could do. In recent years, I’ve backed off being that stubborn, but I still hesitate. Needless to say, for a whole day and a half I wore that splint, and will likely continue to wear it during the day in order to protect it from possible harm. Because even just touching something the wrong way hurts like a bitch.

I told you recently that I was going to be taking some time to keep working on my book. And I am, that is true, just not in a way that I thought it would be. Life is funny sometimes, and you just have to roll with it if you want to be able to do anything in life. Even if you thought you had permanently closed a chapter in your life, only to find you may want to reopen it (no, not my ex guys, I promise).

In the moments when it seems
Like shutting the door was a good thing
It still feels like I’m missing a piece of me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have nailed the door shut.
Maybe I should allow it to be opened again. 
But it’s going to take some time
To learn how to trust what’s on the other side of that door
Because it did a good amount of damage
The last time I let it see me. 

I promise, this isn’t anything to be worried about. There is just a piece of my past that seems to be calling my name again. Even after I told it I was never coming back. Funny, the way life works out that way. It really, really is.