Lyrical Logic

They say if you want to make the universe laugh, tell it your plans. Goodness isn’t that true. There are many things about the last several weeks that have given truth to that statement. I think that the thing that has me really laughing is how the universe has shown me how wrong some of my thinking has been. Because when you get your heart broken, the obvious reaction is to do everything you can to keep it from happening again. But then you meet your blue collar democrat, and you realize maybe it’s worth the risk.

I tell you this, as it is changing the way my poetry sounds. I’m writing non heartbroken material. Which, is good. It means that other things seem happier (to me) than they did before. And I’m interested in seeing how everything looks at the end of the year. Because at the end of the year I hope to have everything written, and then it will just be time to edit, format, and finalize.

The other thing I’m looking forward to as the end of the year arrives is my Spotify Wrapped. It will really be interesting because I have an idea of what it should look like, but I really don’t know if it will look like that. Because, you see, I listen to music according to my mood. And, as my therapist has said, I’ve only gotten more mentally stable as the year has gone on.

Speaking of my therapist, I have graduated from once a week to every other week. Which, in some ways is great, and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. But also, it terrifies me as I won’t have the comfort of knowing that I can talk to her on Tuesday. So, to anyone out there struggling, wondering if it will ever get better, it does. And while I’m nervous, I’m happy. And that is something that hasn’t always been true.

I don’t have a poem for you today. I am actually writing this on Thanksgiving and so I need to do some cooking and I need to clean my apartment so I can start packing for my move in January. This time last year so many things were different. And as I look back on the last 12 months, I can’t help but smile. Because I never thought I could be sitting here right now, feeling what I’m feeling, after my life happened.