Lyrical Logic

Someone asked me the other day what my life had been like for the 18 months. I laughed and said “I’m still standing, though I’m not sure how.” It’s mostly the truth, though I’m figuring out how I am still standing. And the answer isn’t one individual thing, it’s a lot of little things. I had people around me who supported me. I had people around me that made sure I didn’t isolate. I got a great job. I got a cat. I made sure I didn’t put myself in a situation where I was going to have the option of doing some serious harm.

The thing is that I really did have to pick up and start over. My friends of the last 7 years walked away from me. My family was suddenly gone. I had two people left standing with me, and both of them live 4 – 5 hours away from me. And I learned to do it by myself. For myself.

But what I did learn is what I love. I love nature – and walking it in and taking pictures of it. I love going places, seeing new things, and attending concerts with people I care about. I learned that I can even go to concerts by myself, and it will all work out. I learned that I didn’t know all the right ways to do things, but I figured them out. I learned that I love just going with the flow of life, and not letting it get me down when it starts to go wrong.

What I learned is that I want someone who is more like me than not like me. I thought I wanted to be with the opposite of what I am, because I was ashamed of who I was. The opposite is true. I want someone not just like me, but close enough that it makes life fun. That we enjoy the same things and we keep each other on our toes – in a good way. It’s a crazy thing to think is so insane to search for, but really it should just be a given.

2023 and 2024 were rough. But I’m looking at the second half of 2024 and I’m realizing that it got better. And as I look ahead to 2025 I realize that life can be great, and I’ll make it so. 2025 is the year that I do all the crazy things, well okay, maybe not all. But enough of them that it just makes life fun. I’m excited for the journey. I’d be happy if you joined me.