Lyrical Logic

You ever just have the urge to cry? And I don’t mean just a small cry, but a whole body sob. To just let it all out and not care who sees or what anyone thinks. Because the last few weeks have left me feeling like it is the only way to feel less overwhelmed. Really it’s just the state of the world that has me completely paralyzed. I’m trying to live, to survive, and here goes the world just giving me extra anxiety. If it weren’t for my two cats, I probably would just take off and fuck off into the woods.

Really, I don’t think the cats would mind. I would though. One of them will come when called. The other…..I’m not sure. I’ve never let him out. He’s a little spunky guy though, can handle himself. I’m just not prepared for the anxiety of wondering if they will come back.

My cats are all I’ve got holding me together right now. Their constant need for food and love and to remind them not to be assholes to each other. I don’t know how anyone can think that the way that the United States is today isn’t going back in time. There are going to be some serious consequences for allowing a literal man child to take office, and then to basically just hand power over to an oligarch. The only thing I have to say is that if there is a chance that birthright citizenship goes away, I’ll happily give up my citizenship to bail out to Europe.

I’m not trying to be super political, but I can’t even watch the news anymore. It just makes me so upset because while I’m white and with privilege, I can’t help but feel unsafe because I can’t be trusted to make my own healthcare decisions. And then there are my sisters of color, who will have to work 100x harder than anyone else even to be considered for a position. There are my sisters that are treated like material things and not like people. Then there are the members of the LGBTQ+ community who can’t even be who they are without the fear of violence. Just for being ALIVE.

I’m tired of not using my privilege to fight for those who don’t share it. I donate monthly to the ACLU, the Trevor Project, and to my local Habitat for Humanity. It’s not much. But it is better than nothing. I write weekly to my Representative and my Senators asking how they are planning on protecting us here, who are going to be seriously affected by upcoming tariffs. Because it will cripple my state economy if China retaliates – because most of what we grow are soy beans.

I’m making a promise right now, that 60% of ALL SALES of my book will go towards charity. It will likely go towards the ACLU or the Trevor Project so that it can help people all over the country. I’ll post the receipts here, so you can hold me accountable. But it is my goal to make an impact in keeping people safe, even if its just a couple of dollars here and there.

I’ll see you all soon. I’m still polishing my book, and I won’t likely stop until April 1st when I have to stop thinking about it or I’ll just go crazy. Here’s to the next month or so. And to using my privilege to help those who need it more than me.