Lyrical Logic

I think we all know the difference between just surviving versus thriving where you are. I can honestly saw it’s been a hot minute since I felt like I was thriving and not just simply surviving. But when you live in a place where you feel safe, and when you have the ability to do some small fun things every now and then, it really does make a difference.

When your body relaxes
and the stress you've been carrying
finally falls away,
you are left with what remains
from the time you've spent
fighting for your life
and trying to survive.

Slowly but surely I’ve started to feel like the survival mode is shutting off. There are days where I feel better than others, but in the adjustment period of getting used to my home I’ve realized just how much time I spend doing nothing. Laying on the couch, watching TV, playing games on my phone, I do it a lot more than I realized. Which, all in all isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a little bit eye opening to how much time I have free when for years I’ve had none at all.

Before my divorce I was trying to finish my bachelor’s degree. So every extra moment I had was spent studying or doing homework. Now that I haven’t had to do that, now that I’ve had time to just be, it feels kinda nice. But I also feel like I need a few new hobbies.

Teaching myself guitar, reading, walking around my neighborhood. All things that I plan on doing in the coming months/year. Because I’m no longer in a position that requires me to be in survival mode. I’m finally in a place where, if I work at it, I can truly thrive.