Lyrical Logic

We talk about the excitement and the adjustments that come when you go from “girlfriend” to “fiancé” to “wife.” You know what we don’t talk about? Going from “wife” to “girlfriend.” I wish we would, because it’s a doozey.

I never dated just to date. That’s not who I am. Never have been. But once I became someone’s wife, the way I showed love changed. It was having dinner ready and it was just doing little things around the house because they needed done. Not because I was asked to do them, not because he asked me to plant some flowers, but because I wanted to. To show him I was paying attention and was taking as much time to think about how our marital home looked and felt as I did about actively choosing him day in and day out.

Now I’ve reverted back to “girlfriend,” and all the ways I used to show love just don’t make sense. They feel like I’m rushing a relationship when in reality I’d really prefer to take it slow. But I don’t know another way to love. I don’t know another way to do the things. So, ladies, how do we go from “wife” to “girlfriend?”

Thankfully, my significant other is understanding of the fact that this is different for me. Thankfully I can be open about how strange this is for me. For whatever reason, he’s just not running away yet. I keep telling myself, “give it time, he will get tired of you.” My therapist and I will be having a chat about that because I know it’s not healthy, but it’s all I know.

If you have any tips or tricks, drop a comment. Because I’m at a loss, and I know many others are too.