Lyrical Logic

I was so excited to be the life of the party this summer. I was so excited for nights out, lots of memories, and just good time after good time. Now, I’m sitting in my home on a Sunday night, and I haven’t even gotten dressed today. My life feels like it’s in a downward spiral, except the spiral isn’t bad. It’s just a little bit of of hiccup.

I saw Hamilton for the first time ever this weekend. It was amazing. Everyone should see it at least once. But it was in a city where, especially around the second weekend in June, I’ve spent a lot of time. A lot of time and a lot of mixed emotions. Happiness, heartbreak, anger, sadness. All things that for years I felt in the city before I finally walked away.

Then my health insurance apparently won’t cover a different manufacturer for one of my medications. It’s the one that helps me sleep. Thankfully, the pharmacy had enough of the one that was covered for a few days. But seriously? Why can’t we cover everything? Also, why does it cost me $90 for a month supply?! There is no way it costs that much to make.

As someone who lives in the state where our Senator tells us “We are all going to die,” this is completely infuriating. I don’t have $90 extra a month to pay for medication that I need. Since our state also can’t legalize marijuana, which is the only other thing that puts me to sleep and keeps me asleep. It’s absolutely terrifying because politicians only want to bow to those who can pay them the most money.

Healthcare needs to be more affordable. And insurance companies need to cover ALL medications by ALL manufacturers. Otherwise you’ll get an unmedicated, sleep deprived Liz. And that Liz…..she isn’t a human I want to introduce anyone to. Because she will be the downfall of me. Unable to get out of bed, unable to do anything, barely able to keep myself alive. It’s hard enough some days. But without my meds, I cannot function.

So, thanks for listening to my venting session. Here’s hoping the other manufacturer comes through and delivers to my pharmacy. Otherwise I’m gonna have to travel to a different state to get some marijuana to just sleep. And while I’m willing to do so, and it’s not that far. It’s just frustrating that I have to do it in order to sleep.