Lyrical Logic

At 21
I was engaged.
At 22
I was married.
I never wondered
If there was something more.

I don’t know if I loved him
Or if I loved the life
I thought I wanted—
Coming home and making dinner,
Kissing my husband,
Asking about his day.
Loading the dishwasher,
Watching a little TV,
Then off to bed.

Suddenly, I was 25
And he wanted a divorce.
I started to wonder—
Is there something more?

My life had been so complicated,
I was so ready for stability
That I hadn’t considered life
Might have more to offer
Then that “made-for-TV” life.

Was I just supposed to
Stay home and clean?
Was I just supposed to
Make dinner every night?
Was I just supposed to
Have a baby and become a mom?

Was there more
Then doing what society told me to?
Was there more
Then planning for a family?
What about concerts?
Random road trips?
Nights out with the girls?
The answer then was always,
“Maybe someday.”

Now—
I live in the moment.
I make myself happy first.
I know there is something more to life.

Because he taught me
What not living looked like.