Lyrical Logic

All I want right now
Is for you to
Hurt me—
Just one more time.

I know it’s crazy,
I know it’s not healthy,
But at least then my heart
Would feel something
Other than fear.

I had someone in my life
Who treated me right.
He was there when I needed him,
Did the things I wanted—
Even if he didn’t.
But in the end, I ran,
Because he wasn’t you.

You planted this fear in me—
The fear of losing myself again.
You helped me morph
Into someone I didn’t know,
Encouraged me to leave myself behind.

Now that I’ve gone back for her,
I’m terrified
Of letting her go
For you.