Lyrical Logic

I’ve been in a bit of a slump with writing lately. It’s been a struggle to get myself out of it. If I’m being honest, I’m not out of it yet. My brain is tired by the time I get home from work and on the weekends I just want to vegetate on the couch and relax.

Did I tell you guys I finally got diagnosed with ADHD? I feel like I did. But we finally found a medication dosage that works for me. And it’s been a nonstop battle in my brain ever since.

I feel guilty because my brain is really, really tired. It is so tired that I feel like I need to just disappear into the woods for a week and not think about anything other than resting. But I finally have the ability to do things that had me paralyzed for months and I’m just not doing it. So, I feel guilty.

People tell me it’s normal. People tell me it will get better. But the writing…man. It’s getting hard. Which, is terrifying because I am so close (yet so far) to being done with the novel. I’ve had to cancel the pre-order because of the editing process. Turns out it takes a lot. Not a bad thing, I was just severely underprepared for what it would entail. You don’t know what you don’t know.

So, I guess today I’m just going to sit here and let my brain try and figure out what it has to say. If I’m being honest, my “real job” has been just as mentally exhausting. Did you know that once your brain works properly you start to realize all the things that you were missing before. Suddenly you see a bunch of projects you overlooked, and now you feel like you’re drowning. Yeah, that’s the feeling.

Between my work and my writing, there isn’t much left in the tank for my brain. I’m also just trying to figure out how to live in this world with a normaler brain. Because the static has always been so loud that now I feel like I’m not even me (in a good way, it’s not zapping my personality).

So, I guess here is the truth friends: I’m tired. I’m adjusting. And frankly? I’m just going to roll with it for a while and see where it leads.