Lyrical Logic

Most days I don’t complain about my ability to hear the different pieces of a song. Most days I’m just thankful to have something that I connect so deeply to. This Memorial Day weekend I spent locked up in my house. I spent the weekend writing and editing pieces of “What Surrendered.” I’m starting to worry about my self imposed deadline, but that’s not what is on my mind today.

Reba released “Hurt Like That” last Friday. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it. I’ll wait for you to listen to it before we continue. But make sure you have a box of tissues handy. Because Reba has once again shown the world why she is the Queen of Country music.

I planned to write a reaction poem to it and publish it Friday. That obviously didn’t happen. Mostly because I don’t know what to write. That song has ripped open a wound in me that is refusing to stay shut. I triggered myself with it. And then I did it over and over again because I needed to feel the heartbreak. And I thanked god it wasn’t on vinyl yet. That’s one record I won’t be able to listen to until I finish “What Surrendered.”

Anyway, I spent the weekend in what I call a writing sprint. I listened to my vinyl records, with an honorable mention to my copy of “Have I Got A Deal For You” that just arrived. But I was sitting here on Monday night and I was trying to tell myself it was okay that I hadn’t written the new song reaction yet. I was trying to tell myself that it was okay.

Then I put on the Love Somebody vinyl. And between “Enough” ft. Jennifer Nettles, She Got Drunk Last Night, and That’s When I Knew I am a hot freaking mess. I’m writing now in the middle of the album. So, if we end up with a reaction poem by the end of this, you’ll know how long it took me to write. All of this is relevant, I swear. It’s just taking me a minute to get there.

The pieces of “What Surrendered” that I worked this weekend were deeply emotional. Without giving away anything, she did a lot of fucking healing this weekend. And there were a few happy endings. But mostly, I was emotionally exhausted.

Putting on Love Somebody tonight wasn’t something I had planned on doing. I know exactly what this album does to me. Reba’s voice just lets me put all of my walls down. And then to add on with the emotional work I’ve done all weekend? I’m surprised I lasted through the first song on the album before the tears started to fall.

There is something about the sound of vinyl versus the electronic streams we have now. Especially with the warmth that already exists in Reba’s voice. I’ve been collecting copies of her records on vinyl as fast as I can. But this week the album “Stronger Than The Truth” is being delivered and good god I’m going to be a hot mess and a half.

But I want to share with you just a piece of what I wrote this weekend. Because this project is coming to life. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

“Mom, what are you overthinking on a Saturday morning?” Katie asked snapping me out of my head. 
I looked at her, really looked at her, before I answered her question. 
“I’m thinking about how you don’t randomly stop by now,” I answered honestly. 
“You never used to call first. Now? It’s like you give me extra time before even getting in the car. What changed?” 
I didn’t know if I wanted to know the answer. 
But I had to ask the question. 
John and I were getting married in eight weeks. 

Katie looked at me, and then at John, and then back at me. 
And the nerve of that girl, she laughed. 
“Mom, are you serious?” She asked. 
“Katie Anne, why are you laughing?” I sounded a little annoyed. 
Frankly I was so annoyed that my hand came up onto my hip.
God, I probably looked just like my mother.  
Katie sighed, set her coffee down on the counter and walked up to me and hugged me. 
I wrapped my arms around her tightly. 

“I call first,” she started, “because the absolute last thing I need to walk in and tell Sandy is that I saw my mom behaving like a horny teenager in the living room.” 

I froze. 
I think my jaw dropped just a little bit. 
John couldn’t help himself, he just started laughing. 
Katie looked up at me with a smile. 

“Don’t worry mom,” Katie said. 
“If it’s an actual emergency, I won’t call first. I’ll walk in on you.”