Lyrical Logic

I swear, I would really, really love a week where my world wasn’t rocked by some random piece of information that shouldn’t bother me anymore, but it does. This week, my ex-husband is the reason I’ve been distracted. And I won’t get into it here, but you know what? I’m tired of it. So freaking tired of it.

I haven’t been writing. I feel like I burnt myself out. But I’m still noodling with ideas in my head. I still have moments I want to write in my head. I’m just hitting a wall in being able to do it. Maybe I need to increase my ADHD meds. I see my psych in October so I’ll see what she has to say. Because while the noise in my brain is quiet, I still struggle some days. But again, some days I’m fine.

I genuinely think this is because of my mood. I take the same pills every single day but when my world gets rocked, my mood gets thrown off. And this week? I actually called my therapist for an emergency appointment. I didn’t even do that when my husband told me he was leaving me. I don’t call for an emergency appointment. Ever.

And so, this week, as my world was completely rocked, I sat on my couch and I just was trying to decide if I was angry, heartbroken, or devastated. And the reality was I was all three. And an old poem came to mind. I wrote it back in 2024, and it fits even more today. So, I wanted to share it with you again. Because it’s been on my heart lately.

You tell me you didn’t want to hurt me
But how can anyone believe you? 
You wouldn’t last a day in the hell in which you dropped me
You know believe in pain relief
You don’t believe in the process
You told everyone I was crazy 
After you trained me 
So why 
Are you afraid of 
Anything I have to say?